Sleazy men are society’s unsung hero - No cares in the world, No appreciation of women, and No style or class - this is what I call living. At the center of every man’s personality is a sleazy / creepy old man waiting to be released. All the truest feelings in a man are shown in every creepster out there. So next time you walk down the street, or are in a bar, and see an old man, without a care in the world, hitting on a girl who could be his grandchild, just smile and say “I like your style dude!”

Now you might be saying, “how do release this inner sleazeball?” Well just so happens that I have ten rules you can live by when attempting to be a sleaze:

1. Take it when you can get it:

Be easy… sexually. When judging a woman, always go by the number system, but remember - two 5’s equals a 10!

2. Over the top, fake smile:

If you really want to be a creep, stick with your guns, the fake smile never fails.

3. Make your hair intentional:

Greasy, comb-over, rat-tail or spiked - Take your pick, but make sure whatever you’ve got you had every intention of having it. There is nothing more sleazy than a gross haircut that is intentional. In addition, make sure to grow a mustache or 5 o’clock shadow, these show extra effort (and that you mow box).

4. Make sure you’ve got the right outfit

A wife beater is a good article, always have a beer in hand, and some people can even get away with excessive bling.

5. Be an asshole:

Attitude is key, and an asshole is the winner of the sleazy competition. Talk about yourself and no-one else, Play guitar (badly) just to impress women, drink a scotch for look, and tell women how men are superior.

6. Get a girl younger than you:

Because this shows all the other ladies that you have a big snake.

and when you can’t get one even if she’s drunk… order in:

7. Show off your car like it were your dick:

It’s either gramps with the “looks-like-new” car from the 60’s, or Chim Richelds with the blinged out, subwoofer the size of the trunk, rims to your hips, Lamborghini doors, rice rocket - take your pick.

8. Stare constantly… and get caught doing it.

Don’t underestimate the value of the stare. This technique makes you a sleaze even if you disregard all the other options.

9. Fitness:

Either be really in shape or really out of shape… no in-between.

10. “The Pick Up Artist,” or that guy Mystery, is your savior:

This guy is the sleaziest man on the planet. He has a show on television teaching men how to pick up women. He has a book titled “The Mystery Method” that will be your new bible. Not only are his tips correct, but they are sleazy as hell, definitely a good pick for any guy.

This post is tagged creepy, girl, sleazy